16. Changes

Changes

I have never really been big on adapting to change. I don’t like it. If I am happy the way something is going, I don’t want anything to rock the boat. The months of May and June my senior year of High School were full of changes. It was a time that I should have been full of excitement, but the fear of the unknown had somehow taken away some of that excitement.

I found out that Sammy Simpson (my boss and friend) at Mix 96 FM Radio was leaving to take another job in a larger market. Sammy had moved from nights to afternoons a few months prior, so I wasn’t able to hang out with him quite the same way I used to. I saw him nearly everyday, and was still learning quite a lot from him, but it wasn’t the same.

I worked very hard on being the best employee I could be for the station. I worked for the AM station running NC State games and did any and everything else that was asked of me to do with pride.

My biggest fear was that corporate was going to bring in someone who might not see what Sammy saw in me. If I were to be completely honest, I was still in awe that I was allowed to work there, and to be a part of something that I put on such a high pedestal. In the back of my mind, I still felt awkward and grossly un-cool. Because of that, part of me felt like I didn’t deserve such a great opportunity. I was hoping whoever my new boss would be, that he would grant me the freedom that Sammy did. I also hoped he would make me feel as accepted and appreciated.

The station had become an escape for me. It was another world where I didn’t feel my status was always in question, like I did at school. Bottom line, when I was within the four walls of that musky small building, I felt like one of the cool kids that I had so longed to be while at school.

My remaining time in High School was flying by at a record pace. The weeks between the Senior Talent show and graduation was a blur. Final exams, plans for graduation night, confirming what college we would be going to… All of these things were the topic of conversation with my friends. In a time that would have been perfect for retrospection and appreciation for what we had been through together, we spent the majority of the time looking forward to the future.

When you are young, and the independence and excitement that comes with the future are within your grasp, you really don’t take time to think about the past. You don’t really learn to appreciate days gone by, until they are too far gone to go back to and you are too old to relive them.

Our Senior Yearbooks looked incredible that year. The Scottish Plaid cover had a Golden Seal on the front. It was loaded with pictures that not only captured the essence of the school year, but who we were at that time.

I passed it around to get it filled with signatures. Most of which were from girls who thought “I was so sweet”, and “Such a nice guy”, and all of the other things I didn’t want to be called at that juncture in my life.

A lot of guys I shared classes with told me how much fun they had getting to know me, and gave me their number to call so we could “hang out sometime’. I never called any of them, as I was not sure if they really meant it. Looking back I am sure some of them did, and I should have taken them up on their offer.

My best friend David ‘Tater’ Turner – A Great American, signed my yearbook briefly and touched on our ‘Brotherhood’. We were both born only children, but had grown up as brothers. There was no need for a lengthy paragraph or two. Our friendship would far surpass the halls of Scotland High School, and we both knew that.

Jason also had great things to say in his signing of my yearbook. He mentioned all of the good times we had through middle and high school. He complimented me on my acting, singing and guitar playing. (Truth be told, he was much better than me at both acting and singing. Thankfully, he didn’t seriously pick up guitar too). He touched on how things got rocky for a bit during the Katie drama, but we had come on the other side of it remaining friends. He was right, and I was glad we did.

My favorite signature came from a faculty member. I had asked my favorite teacher- Bob Bierbaum to sign it on the Video Productions page. It was a class that shaped me more than any other class.

Funny thing about me, while most kids become quiet and reserved when they are feeling a little awkward and shy, I had the tendency to get louder and talk even more. I had asked him to sign my yearbook on a day that I had been rather loud and showing off a bit in class. It actually was a blessing in disguise. Because of my actions earlier that day in his class, he wrote passionately, and gave me some of the best advice I had ever received.

“I hope that you have had the chance to see that video and broadcasting can be very creative and fun. It’s also hard work at times. That part, sometimes is not so fun. But it’s the only measure of a person’s character. Peer position and ‘Pecking order’ can seem important, but does nothing to build a future, or to allow yourself to express your capabilities and possibilities. I hope you take the time to invest in what you CAN be… and what you WANT to be in the future. NONE of these folks will be around within 2 years for you. Don’t waste any effort to meet their (incredibly) low expectations… Set high goals and be the achiever you’re destined to be! You’re worth the effort. Sincerely – Mr. B.

Bob Bierbaum was the best teacher I ever had. I had him in 7^th grade as my English teacher, and then my Video Productions teach my Junior and Senior year in High School. Everyone has a teacher that helped shape them as adults, Bob Bierbaum was that teacher for me. I had never had a teacher put that much faith in me and to accept me the way he did. He filled that role for me in a way he would never comprehend. The words he wrote in my yearbook that year, they were painfully true and needed to be said. Part of me just wishes they would have been said to me at a much younger age.

Mr. Bierbaum is a lawyer now. The world has enough lawyers, but not enough great teachers. Bob Bierbaum was a great teacher.

In a matter of weeks, I was going to say goodbye to two men who had been both mentors and friends to me. Sammy was moving on and I was graduating High School and leaving my time with Mr. Bierbaum behind. I was the kind of teenager that needed that pat on the back and encouragement from time to time. Both of these men did that for me at a very impressionable age. I am a better man today because of the time they spent with me.

My yearbook was a good representation of my Senior Year. I had more signatures than I had in any other previous yearbook. I think that may have come from making more friends, and feeling more comfortable in my own skin my senior year. Plus, I had grown up. Some of my classmates had grown up too. The ones that did not manage to grow up simply didn’t matter to me as much as they once did.

I got tons of great signatures from many great people, but the only signature that I wanted and never received was Megan Alba Biel’s. It was strange how she seemed so untouchable within the last few months of school.

I had labeled her ‘untouchable’ when I was younger, meaning that she had set the mark for everything beautiful in my eyes. From the day I first saw her in Mr. Hedgepeth’s class, all the way to final days of school, she was THE girl I spent my time alone dreaming about.

But my definition of ‘Untouchable’ is different in this sense.

She was ‘Untouchable’, in a way that she was always seemed just two steps ahead or one step behind me. I would see her in the hallway, but she would be surrounded by friends. I would pass her in her car in the parking lot, driving away from school. She was even in the same restaurant when my folks and I went to dinner one evening, but the only appropriate interaction in a place like that was a simple smile and wave. She was everywhere, except the places where I could actually talk to her. Looking back, it seems almost poetic that I never got her to sign my yearbook. It kind of represents our relationship the latter part of that year.

I wanted to ask her for a dance at Prom, but I never could find her.

I wanted her to know that I sang my song for her at the Senior Talent Show, but she wasn’t there.

She was everywhere but where I wanted her to be… She was literally ‘Untouchable’.

I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to many people. It was especially hard to say goodbye to the people who had played such a prominent role in my High School years. Bob Bierbaum, Sammy Simpson, and yes…Megan Alba Biel had made the time I spent during my High School days special and memorable. In a matter of days, I would be at a point to where I might never see them again.

I don’t like change. I especially didn’t like change at the age of Seventeen. But like it or not, big changes were just a few days away for me. Some expected, and some were not, but all of which shaped the coming years of my life…